This Christmas, like last Christmas, was pretty much non-happening. No parties. But who can I blame? I always acted like a jerk at parties, unable to sing, unable to dance, unable to drink, unable to entertain or to be entertained.
I heated some canned minestrone soup and ate some instant noodle for dinner. Life would be horrible if it’s like this every year. With my newly-acquired extra free time, the only thing I did seems to be squandering it. I was playing games on my iPhone instead to doing some readings. I can get the life I want as long as I try, but occasionally I felt very disillusioned and disheartened. What if it is not glory after all the hard work, but conflicts and frustrations? How to live a life if it ends any second? Is it the same thing: to do whatever you want and to be responsible for your own life? With these heavy questions, how to be happy? How to even get a slice of happiness?